RAAAAAAAAAARGH (or “Trying to take the bad with the good”)

I took my last final exam ever yesterday morning, thus becoming a university graduate. Happiness! As is customary here, some of my classmates’ families and friends came after the exam and threw eggs and flour (and boxed wine?!) at us. Not so much happiness, because I couldn’t take the bus and had to walk home with a really heavy backpack with two humongous dictionaries, while covered in dry egg.

In celebration, I went out with friends to a club near my house last night. Great time at the club, not such a great time walking ten blocks home. I’ve walked home at 5 in the morning several times already, alone, and nothing save for the occasional leer has happened. This time, however, was a fucking nightmare. While I walked back with a female friend, a drunk guy slurred at us, “What great legs. I’d lick your vagina.” No response from us, because it was so unexpected. Half a block later, a couple of guys our age “complimented” our legs again (I told them to jerk each other off and leave us the fuck alone, and they got ridiculously offended. Oh, boohoo!). A few blocks later, same situation, except it was around seven guys standing outside a pizza place, blocking the way. More leg compliments, some “Want to come home with us?” questions (same reply from me that I gave before; same reaction from them: acting offended, laughing, and going, “Oooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” like I was overreacting and I should just learn how to take a compliment).

And finally, the worst one of them all. A group of guys were walking down the sidewalk in our direction and didn’t budge to leave us room to pass by. My friend ended up climbing over a flowerpot, but I got stuck between her and one of the guys, who decided that he had the right to grab my entire waist with his arm and rub it while he walked by. I swatted his hand away and screamed at him to “fucking learn how to behave, asshole” (if I had not been wearing heels I might have actually gone after him because I was so pissed off). His friends laughed at me and told me to calm down, but he merely shrugged and didn’t even bother to turn around.

After leaving my friend at the bus stop, I finally did end up getting home, on the verge of tears, and had a really hard time falling asleep because I was so nervous.

I fucking HATE being a woman sometimes. I also hate the fact that most people here will tell me it’s my fault and it’s to be expected because I was wearing a short skirt. Because, of course, all men are uncontrollable animals who lose their senses if they see a bit of skin and can’t be held responsible for their actions. “Boys will be boys,” and “You can’t blame them; I’d have said something too!” and “But they complimented your legs! Why does that bother you?!”

FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

Also, last night was the first time I have ever worn a short skirt with no tights on — my legs are covered in scars (yay, teenage self-injury!) and are spindly and knobbly, so I tend to be self-conscious about them — but yesterday was a good day and I was feeling great about my body. It makes this whole situation all the more depressing.